


A Matter of Love

by InconvenientImmortal



Category: Rockman X | Mega Man X, Rockman | Mega Man - All Media Types
Genre: As One Does, In which Zero realizes how emotionally stunted he is and has a crisis about it, Introspection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-23 18:26:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13793559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InconvenientImmortal/pseuds/InconvenientImmortal
Summary: The knowledge that X was capable of things Zero could never hope to achieve was a fact Zero accepted the day he met the other Reploid, but for the first time, the realization bothered him.Zero learns something he wasn’t built for.





	A Matter of Love

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the first MMX fic I ever wrote. I finished almost the entire first half before realizing I wanted to write other fics about the early stages of Zero and X’s relationship first so I could build up to this point and the payoff would be better (both for me as a writer, and hopefully, for you as a reader). I picture this story as a sort of “eventual future” to the other fics I’ve written, though you don't necessarily have to read those to know what's going on in this fic. Likewise, the same goes for the other two fics in this mini-series, **["A Matter of Caring"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6251659)** and **["A Matter of Pride"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11947905)**.
> 
> Please enjoy, and thank you for all your support and kind comments / kudos over the years.

Zero knew X loved him.

It wasn’t much of a secret—X was always open with his emotions. Even when they first met, X made it clear he was fond of Zero, who was similarly intrigued when Dr. Cain introduced them just a few short weeks after he was found and reactivated. It hadn’t taken long for them to become close, especially after X transferred from the research labs to the Hunter force and they were able to spend more time together. Their initial short friendly ‘hellos’ when passing each other in the hallway turned into occasionally swapped stories in the training room, and then longer conversations in the break room. Eventually, their exchanges developed into evenings spent side-by-side for no other reason than because they simply enjoyed each other’s company. It was only a matter of time before they became friends, then subsequently, best friends.

Zero wasn’t sure when X’s feelings evolved from admiration into something closer to romantic affection, but somewhere along the line, a switch was flipped, and it hadn’t taken long for Zero to notice. Although less-capable of reading people’s emotions than X, Zero knew his friend well enough to know when something was going on in his head. Or in this case, his (theoretical) heart.

The change manifested itself in small ways; the way X smiled more when Zero was around (though he was always smiling when Zero was around), his hesitation before saying goodbye each time they parted, the hand on Zero’s arm that lingered a moment too long. It was an endless list of minor cues that individually wouldn’t be of note, but together finally caught Zero’s attention.

Originally, he chalked up X’s change to exhaustion or some other program error, and he watched his friend more closely than normal out of concern that something _was_ wrong. But it hadn’t taken Zero long to realize that X wasn’t malfunctioning; rather, he was exhibiting almost textbook symptoms of what humans defined as a ‘crush’. In anyone else, the actions—being unable to look Zero in the eye for too long without becoming flustered, the perpetual pink flush on X’s cheeks, the furtive glances X gave him—might indeed be the result of a glitch in their system, but if any android was capable of exhibiting genuine romantic feelings towards someone, it was X.

Zero didn’t think about it much at the time, regarding it as just another quirk that made X who he was, like the fact he could cry or the fact he was a Light-bot. With Sigma’s rebellion and his own (temporary) death occurring not too long after, Zero hadn’t had much time to dwell on the matter.

Upon Zero’s return, X seemed like his normal self at a glance, though his shoulders were set more firmly, and he moved with confidence in his actions. His eyes held a certain weariness and determination Zero hadn’t seen before (but his smiles were still as gentle and sincere, so Zero didn’t worry). The crush was still there, though somewhat subdued under what Zero took to be X’s overwhelming relief to have him back. It too had matured into something stronger, more assured. X seemed to have grown up a little during Zero’s absence, no longer quite so hesitant and naive. They stood on even ground now, despite their ranks, and Zero was thankful for it.

Zero wasn’t bothered by his friend’s feelings—surprised certainly, bemused, but more than anything, Zero found it…troubling.

It wasn’t that X made him uncomfortable—Zero didn’t think there was a way X _could_ make him uncomfortable, it just wasn’t in X’s programming—it was that Zero didn’t know how to respond to something like…this. He didn’t exactly have a lot of experience in being emotionally open. Even with X, his best friend and the person he trusted most, Zero didn’t share everything on his mind (particularly, the nightmares that started after the Repliforce incident. X didn’t need to know about those; his friend had enough worries without Zero making himself an even greater concern).

But being in a relationship with X wouldn’t change their friendship dynamic. It might encourage them to be a little more open with their feelings (which would probably be healthy for both Hunters) but a relationship like that required both people to feel the same way about each other. Zero cared about X, more than he’d ever cared about anyone else, and X certainly seemed to care about him. It was just…more than Zero ever would have expected. Given their relationship and the kind of person X was, Zero shouldn’t have been all that surprised, but because X had chosen to love _him_ , he was.

They had been friends for…how many decades now? The first war with Sigma felt so long ago, the rest of their battles blending together into one virtually endless fight. At least half a century had passed since the day he met X, and they’d fought along-side one another for nearly as long. In all that time, X never once tried to bring up how he felt to Zero, but in every smile, every laugh, every seemingly insignificant interaction, Zero could see just how much X cared about him. From risking his life to collect Zero’s parts and rebuilding him to dragging Zero away from work and forcing him to relax for a day, every instance of thoughtful consideration and compassion added up. X didn’t need words to say “I love you”, his actions said it enough.

X was set in his decision to love Zero, and no matter how much time passed, his feelings never diminished. If anything, they grew stronger, and Zero knew no matter what he did, X would keep selflessly giving, even if he never felt the same way.

But Zero didn’t like the idea of hurting X, even unintentionally, and the thought that his inability to love like X frustrated him because it meant he couldn’t _truly_ reciprocate his friend’s feelings. He wanted X to be happy, and if sharing his feelings would make X happy, Zero wanted to at least make an effort. He just wasn’t exactly sure how to go about it.

Love wasn’t something Zero thought he was capable of. It didn’t seem like the sort of thing his sadistic creator would have bothered programming him with, anyways. Loyalty certainly, though Zero figured his creator did that so Zero would be loyal to him, not a Light-bot. He reasoned his ability to form bonds and friendships could be written off as an extension of his loyalty, his programing seeing allies in battle as a beneficial asset. But the rest of his emotional range was a mere fraction of X’s.

Zero wasn’t like X in many ways—he wasn’t able to sympathize with other Hunters or humans as well as X, he was stricter with recruits than his friend (who often told him stories, while laughing, about how the younger recruits were intimidated by him), he was unable to shed tears over their fallen comrades like X—there were enough difference to make some people wonder how they could be so close.

But the biggest difference was Zero couldn’t love. X could.

X was full of love; love for humans, love for Reploids, love for peace and nature and all things. He loved pointing out constellations while they walked back to HQ after a night of patrolling, he loved laughing at terrible jokes and telling them to Zero, he loved trying new food and getting extra to share with other Hunters back at the base; and apparently, he loved Zero. Love was what made X who he was, the reason he was supposed to represent the bridge between machines and humans; he was an android who could feel things on the same level as humanity.

Zero, on the other hand, figured he was even less-human than most of his fellow Reploids, since they were based on X’s design and at least understood human emotions to some degree (though none came close to X. It was a fact, not just Zero’s opinion). X had limitless potential, whereas as far as Zero knew, he was created to be the ultimate war-machine by some deranged scientist centuries ago. A warrior meant to destroy, to burn the world around him, not interact and empathize with it. Zero was the promise of an ending, a reduction to nothing, an invariable certainty. As X embodied his name, so too did Zero. Why he had emotions at all he figured was likely due to his creator’s desire to prove he could build a machine capable of it, rather than a wish for Zero to mimic and interact with the humans around him. Or maybe it was a matter of “anything Light can do, I can do better”.

Zero smirked at the thought. If that was the case, the blurred old man from his nightmares came in second-place. There was no comparing himself to X.

While Zero initially struck most people as the more intimidating adversary, it was X who deserved recognition. Although Zero was more ruthless in battle than X, who was more likely to spare an opponent if he could get away with it, it was X’s mercy and empathy that caused Zero to acknowledge him as someone he respected. Limitless potential aside, X was a pacifist who chose to be on the battlefield and fight despite, or rather, _because of_ his wish for peace. Going through every option trying to save an enemy and deciding there was no way to spare them because it meant others would be hurt? The ability to kill despite being a pacifist? That earned Zero’s respect.

He always said one day X would surpass him. Zero grew more and more convinced of it every time X fought, every time he got back up after being knocked down, every time he chose to return to battle despite the overwhelming desire not to. X’s potential—his willpower—kept him going, and Zero knew it made his friend a far better Hunter, and a far better hero, than him (not that Zero ever saw himself as a hero).

The knowledge that X was capable of things he could never hope to achieve was a fact Zero accepted the day he met the other Reploid, but for the first time, the realization bothered him.

Usually when he encountered a problem like this, he went to X, given that his friend _had_ slept a hundred years meditating over questions of morality, human ethics, and proper emotional responses. But somehow, the idea of confronting X about his romantic feelings didn’t seem like a very considerate course of action, especially when Zero was still unsure of whether he was capable of reciprocating X’s affection or not (though the thought of X’s flustered reaction had its appeal).

He briefly considered bringing up the subject to Alia, since as their navigator, she was supposed to help them with their problems (though granted, said problems were typically mission or combat-related). But she already seemed to know about X’s situation, and Zero wasn’t sure if she had an answer to his problem. Alia was automatically programmed with something akin to a mother’s care; protective concern and empathy, both vital to the role of any navigator. That in itself was a form of love, but Zero wasn’t sure that was the kind he needed to learn. He already wanted to protect X—hell, he’d died for his friend on multiple occasions, and he’d do it again if it meant keeping X safe.

But like with all other Reploids, Alia’s understanding of love, as humans saw it, seemed incomplete (albeit, better than Zero’s own). What he needed was someone who had a true understanding of human emotions and how Reploids mimicked them.

All those thoughts were what finally lead Zero here, to Dr. Cain’s home.

It was a small house on the outskirts of Abel City, a practical locale for a man in his twilight years, far from the occasional skirmishes that broke out between Mavericks and Reploids near the Maverick Hunter base. The house was surprisingly humble for a man widely regarded as 21XX’s “Father of Robotics”; a slightly overgrown garden overshadowing the one-story-tall sky blue building. Zero walked up the cobblestone path to the front door, recognizing a few of the flowers and shrubs as ones X often pointed out to him on their patrols. He knew X sometimes visited Dr. Cain, and Zero wondering if his friend helped take care of the old man’s yard. The mental image of X donning gardening gloves and a grass-stained apron over his armor made Zero grin briefly, but the grin quickly faded as he remembered the importance of his visit.

Dr. Cain was one of the few people who had studied Zero’s design and inner-functions (given that the man helped X put him back together many years ago). If anyone could say whether he was capable of reciprocating X’s feelings or not, Dr. Cain could. Even so, Zero couldn’t help but feel a little tense as he approached the front door. He’d gone over the idea in his head again and again for weeks, but now that he was actually here, Zero wasn’t sure how to proceed, much less what to say to the doctor when he finally came face to face with him. Still, taking direct action to resolve the problem was better than doing nothing.

Zero steeled himself as he raised a hand, ready to knock on the door, but he hesitated. What if Dr. Cain said it was impossible for him to love X back? Zero had no plan-B, if that was the case. He stood there for a long minute, hand still raised uncertainly as doubt crept into his mind.

Before his thoughts could go any farther however, the door swung open for him, revealing a young women dressed in a blue and white nurse’s uniform.

“Oh? Hello there,” she said, blinking up at him in surprise. She gave him a quick, curious glance-over. “Did you want to visit with Dr. Cain?”

Zero nodded stiffly, lowering his hand back down to his side awkwardly.

The woman called over her shoulder “Dr. Cain, are you feeling well enough for a visitor? There’s a Reploid out here named—” she waited, one eyebrow raised. Zero supplied his name, and she repeated it.

“Yes, yes,” Zero heard the old man’s muffled reply from somewhere inside the house. “Zero’s an old friend of X’s, no need to worry.”

At the sound of X’s name, the woman smiled understandingly and nodded, opening the door wider and stepping aside to allow Zero in. “Right this way,” she said, beckoning him to follow. “I’m one of Dr. Cain’s caretakers. I was just about to run to the grocery store and pick something up for him.” She led Zero down a hallway filled with old pottery, which Zero assumed were from Dr. Cain’s countless archaeological digs, and various thriving houseplants, a few reminiscent of the ones X had in his room. Zero smiled.

The woman stopped at the end of the hallway and gestured to an open door at the end of it. “He’s right in there, have a nice chat! I’ll take my time so you two can have some privacy.” With that, she turned on her heel, and a few seconds later the front door clicked shut behind her. Zero took a moment to collect himself, then stepped inside Dr. Cain’s room.

The room looked less like a bedroom and more like a museum’s storage-space. Even more artifacts, tools, and plants were littered around the room on various bookshelves and nightstands, some balanced precariously on stacks of archaeology textbooks. A few books lay half-open, stuffed so full of post-it notes and extra sheets of paper that they could no longer close. Photos and maps hung on the wall, many detailing Dr. Cain’s various trips around the world, but most were pictures of him and what Zero assumed were his old colleagues. There were a few articles and formal photos that looked like they’d been clipped from newspapers and magazines, but the overwhelming majority were candid shots of Dr. Cain and X. One such photo stood on the nightstand; Dr. Cain in the center, proudly holding up some sort of unearthed treasure that was more dirt than ancient relic, X at his side. X was smiling fondly at the doctor, a smear of dirt across his nose. Zero’s gaze lingered on the photo.

Dr. Cain’s room was so packed with stuff that the last thing Zero’s eyes settled on was the man himself. He was sitting upright in bed, dwarfed by the sheer amount of clutter around him.

“Zero!” he exclaimed in welcome, the wrinkles around his eyes deepening as he grinned genially. “It's good to see you, my boy. Come and sit down, I assure you there’s at least one free chair in here somewhere. You must forgive my mess; I always tell X the only difference between an archaeologist and a hoarder is that one has a degree in it.” Dr. Cain winked playfully as Zero took the nurse’s vacated seat next to the bed. “I promise it’s a necessary evil, though I can’t say I do a lot of research these days. Old age has its shortcomings, but at least I’ve been able to catch up on all the reading I’ve been meaning to do for years. I finally have a few new recommendations for X. Speaking of, where is he?” Dr. Cain asked suddenly, as though only now noticing the absence of their mutual friend.

“Actually, it's just me today,” Zero said, shifting uncomfortably.

Dr. Cain’s eyebrows rose. "Unusual for you to make a visit on your own, you two are practically joined at the hip. Not to mention, X is typically my only visitor from the Maverick Hunters. No, no,” he said, cutting off the beginning of Zero's mumbled apology. “Lord knows you have more important things to do than listen to an old man prattle for hours on-end. X, bless him, is used to my ramblings, so I don't feel too guilty asking him to visit from time to time, but I wouldn't demand anyone prioritize my entertainment over hard work that could save someone's life. Don't go feeling sorry for my sake, I'm a grown man after all. My ego's so battered and bruised there's hardly anything left of it, but I do ask that you spare me your pity.”

Zero felt relieved, albeit, still a little sheepish. He’d visited Dr. Cain with X several times over the past few years, but casual conversation wasn’t his forte, and X, likely sensing Zero’s discomfort, considerately made visits on his own after that. It wasn’t that Zero didn’t like Dr. Cain—he did. Granted, most of what he knew about the man came from stories X told him about his interactions with Dr. Cain in the years before Reploids were created. He appreciated that the doctor was so supportive of X, and Zero was also, of course, indebted to Dr. Cain for rebuilding him after his confrontation with Vile. But when it came down to it, X was closer to Dr. Cain that he was, and X typically got more out of the visits. Zero had a feeling Dr. Cain understood that, which made him feel equal parts thankful and awkward, especially now that he was on his own without X to act as a buffer between them.

“Now then,” Dr. Cain said, pyramiding his fingers together in a business-like manner. “I know you wouldn't stop by without a good reason. What's troubling you?”

Zero was still a little uncomfortable, but grateful that Dr. Cain cut to the chase for him. Small talk was another one of his under-developed skills; addressing a subject directly like this was so much faster. He hated having to dress up his words in order to ask a question, but experience taught Zero that most people considered blunt speech rude rather than practical.

“I’ve…been thinking,” he said slowly.

“A good hobby for a young man to have.” Zero blinked at him, and Dr. Cain chuckled. “Ah, forgive my teasing, I’m afraid I’m too used to having X for company. It’s my way of gently reminding him not to overthink a topic.”

“Right...” Zero paused, unsure how to phrase his question, but he decided it would be best to be straightforward. “Dr. Cain, do you think it’s possible for Reploids to love?”

The old man rubbed his chin. “They can certainly replicate the necessary reactions and mimic the emotional responses attributed to affection. Love is a mix of other emotions, after all. Compassion, empathy, loyalty, trust…yes, I think Reploids can simulate the necessary emotions for love.”

“Do you think it’s possible for me to love?”

The doctor looked up at him, genuine surprise across his tired, wrinkled face. Zero said nothing, returning the old man’s gaze evenly. Eventually, Dr. Cain broke the contact, making a small humming noise as he turned to his side table, picking up a half-finished mug of tea and sipping it thoughtfully. Zero’s folded hands gripped each other a little too tightly as he waited for the doctor’s response. “You certainly have the capacity to feel emotions, so I can’t say it would be much of a stretch,” Dr. Cain said at last. “I didn’t design you however, and I must say, despite seeing your blueprints and cerebral framework while helping to put you back together all those years ago, I’m afraid I still can’t make much sense of your capacity to learn and grow. You’re as much of a mystery to me as X, I admit,” he said, chortling.

“I see…” Zero said slowly, disappointment hanging heavy on his words. He wasn’t sure what to make of an answer that wasn’t a yes or no. Still, Zero couldn’t help but feel as though the tiny, hopeful bubble he’d failed to suppress had just been unceremoniously popped.

Dr. Cain peered at him inquiringly, noting the change in his tone. “I think a better question is: what made you come all this way to ask me that? I must admit, this kind of introspection is something I expect more from X than you.”

“To be honest, that’s part of why I’m here.” Zero considered Dr. Cain for a moment, but he’d already resolved to confide in him. “I know how X feels about me. I know he loves me, and I…I want to know if I’m capable of loving him back.”

Dr. Cain stared at Zero, an unreadable expression settling across his face. Inhaling deeply, he leaned back against his many pillows, gazing up at the ceiling, now awash with rays of afternoon sunlight. He exhaled a long, slow breath.

Zero wasn’t sure if he should prompt Dr. Cain with another question, not wanting to interrupt the doctor’s apparent contemplation about his comment. He decided to sit and wait silently, unsure what was going through the old man’s head, but anxious all the same.

“Tell me, Zero,” Dr. Cain quietly spoke at last, still looking up at the ceiling. “Why do you want to love X back?”

The question took Zero by surprise, but he responded almost immediately. “It would make him happy.”

“Why do you want X to be happy?”

Zero frowned. The answer should be obvious, but he had a feeling Dr. Cain was going somewhere with this line of questioning, so he replied, “Because he’s my best friend, and I care about his happiness.”

“Does it make you happy to see him happy?”

He thought about it. The image of X’s beaming face and the sound of his joyous laughter flashed across Zero’s memory, and he smiled. “Yes.”

Dr. Cain turned to look at him. “That’s love.”

It felt as though a wave had suddenly crashed over Zero. A confusing mix of uncertain emotions swirled in his head, all trying to express themselves at once.

Doubt won out.

“How?” Zero spoke the word sharper than he meant to, making it sound like a demand rather than a question, but Dr. Cain didn’t look offended.

“The basis for love is consideration for another person’s happiness,” Dr. Cain said patiently, reminiscent of a professor explaining a simple mathematic equation to a young student. “True, the same can be said for both platonic and romantic love, as the two often overlap, but based on everything I’ve seen over the past few decades…I think I can safely say that in your case, the former has already morphed into the latter.”

“But—” Zero felt frustrated; he still didn’t understand. “It’s not that easy, it can’t be. I wasn’t created with that ability, I’m not like X, so why would I— if it’s not something I was built with, then how—”

“Perhaps,” Dr. Cain interrupted, pausing thoughtfully to stroke his beard, “It’s something learned through example, hmm? After all, you had an excellent teacher.” The old man smiled at him knowingly, a twinkle in his hazy eyes.

“You mean…X?”

He nodded, still smiling. “As for your question…” he said, sinking into his pillows once more, “I think you already know the answer.”

Zero quietly processed Dr. Cain’s words, thinking. A lifetime of memories replayed in his head, X at the center of each one.

He remembered the crackle of electricity, the acrid smell of his own circuits frying as energy burned through them. Agony in his lower body, then no feeling in his lower body at all. Glitched error messages warning him about the severity of his damage, before they too flickered and died. The sensation of X gently cradling his broken body, eyes shut tight as tears rolled down his cheeks and splashed onto Zero’s, shoulders shaking with suppressed sobs. The relief that spread through what remained of his body, the knowledge that X was safe overshadowing the pain. The unnamed remorse that weighed in his chest as his vision went dark.

He remembered running, newly-rebuilt, from Sigma’s fortress, side-by-side with X, the sunset silhouetting X and casting a halo of light around him. Their trip back to the Maverick Hunter base; X, too exhausted to speak, leaning against him as they filed their report, holding Zero’s hand tight. _Alive_. The relief and joy etched across his tired face in equal measure. Zero squeezing his hand back in reassurance. _Alive_. The words left unspoken, but understood all the same.

He remembered their conversation after the Repliforce incident. X, tired, bitter, but still not broken, preparing for the worst, requesting the one thing Zero couldn’t, _wouldn’t_ , grant him. The anger, the regret, but the refusal to lose X too, even if their line of work always involved some kind of loss. The thought of X counted among the casualties scaring him more than he could understand.

A final memory from earlier that week came to Zero.

They’d just finished one of their hours-long sparring sessions. X was out of breath, but his smile was fierce and genuine as he deactivated his buster arm. He offered Zero a hand up, his eyes reflecting a disproportionate amount of joy for such an average day.

“You’re in a good mood,” Zero noted, taking his friend’s hand and hoisting himself back up. “You must’ve gotten a real kick out of knocking me on my butt with that last move, huh?”

“I won’t deny it,” X said with a playful grin, dodging the swiping-motion Zero made at him. “But it’s not that. I just really enjoy sparring together.”

“I enjoyed it more when you’re the one with a sore rear at the end,” Zero said, but without any real conviction. X’s last attack, which ended with X knocking him off-balance with a combined buster shot to the feet and kick to the chest, had genuinely surprised him. They’d been each other’s sparring partners for so long and knew each other’s movements so well that typically, the entire two-hour session was spent in a stalemate. It was the first time anyone had managed to make Zero lose his footing, and he was thoroughly impressed. He slapped X on the back. “Nice work, X. I enjoy our morning routine too; sparring with you the entire day would be ideal. Actually, spending the entire day with you period would be ideal.”

“You say it like we don’t already do that most days,” X said with a small laugh.

“It’s still my favorite kind of day.”

X beamed at him. “Mine too.”

Zero raised his arm, and X met the forearm with his own. It was a familiar gesture, a sort of friendly salute of theirs, one they’d done hundreds of times before. And yet, today the motion somehow felt imperceptibly different. As though something had shifted, as though Zero’s balance wasn’t the only thing knocked out of equilibrium. Something passed between them as their eyes met; an intangible, unnamed thing. A mutual wish to stay in that moment. Unspoken, yet acknowledged by both of them. Zero hadn’t realized why such a normal interaction with X could leave him feeling so content, so…at peace.

Finally, understanding emerged.

“…I do know the answer.”

Dr. Cain smiled warmly. “I thought so. All you needed was a little encouragement to find it.”

Zero nodded slowly. He thought the realization might send him reeling, might suddenly change him or be difficult to acclimate to. Instead, the revelation gently settled over him like falling snow. In a way, Zero had always known; he just didn’t realize his question was part of the answer.

“You doubt yourself far too much when it comes to matters of the heart. You and X are more similar than you realize, in that regard,” Dr. Cain sighed in mock-exasperation, closing his eyes. He folded his hands over his chest and was quiet for a short time, the occasional chirping of sparrows outside the only sound. For a moment, Zero thought he’d fallen asleep. “…I wondered, you know,” Dr. Cain said quietly, in reverie. “When I first introduced you to X. I wondered how it would turn out. If you would become friends, if you would even get along. Neither of you knew what your purpose was; that alone made the two of you more alike than any other Reploid in our society. Of course,” he chuckled, “Neither of you are Reploids, so I suppose that’s another similarity that tends to get overlooked.” Dr. Cain fell silent again, lost in apparent reflection.

Zero said nothing, uncertain where he was going with this train of thought.

“Every once in a while, I wonder if I was wrong to have created Reploids. You’ll never catch me voicing these thoughts outside this room, mind you. Mavericks aside, I still think Reploids are an incredible innovation and an asset to our society. Still…” he sighed deeply. “I was young, and naive, and perhaps a little arrogant when I came up with the idea, but I was swept up in the thrill of discovering of Dr. Light’s last gift to humanity. I so badly wanted to share that wonder, to share X, with the world, which is why I made Reploids. But…if I am to be completely honest, I think a small, desperate part of myself wanted to make Reploids so I could leave my mark on this world too. It’s sorry way to say I wanted to ride the coattails of Dr. Light’s genius,” he laughed bitterly. “Well, history can certainly say that I left a mark on this world. A blood-stained one, from decades of countless wars.” Dr. Cain breathed another long sigh and shook his head slowly, as though to chase away his thoughts. “Ah, but you didn’t come here to listen to an old man’s remorse. I apologize for getting so far off-topic. Age, I’m afraid, makes me ramble more than I did in my youth, though only slightly more.”

Zero cracked a smile at that, but didn’t interrupt as Dr. Cain continued.

“X was so young, so eager to please, so willing to help me build the first Reploids. But it was only when that first generation was finished and I saw how different they were from X that I realized how alone he truly was. Reploids are amazing beings with unique personalities, thoughts, and capabilities, yet they all pale in comparison to X, despite my best efforts. X is in a category all his own, neither human nor Reploid. Though he has the best qualities of both species, his uniqueness alienates him, and he’s incapable of being fully-accepted by either group. Just like you.” Dr. Cain turned to face Zero, a sad smile on his face. “X was so lonely before he met you. He never said it, but I didn’t need Dr. Light’s level of genius to realize something like that. I cared for him as best I could, but there was only so much an inexperienced fool like me could do. For X to meet you, someone like him, someone who was also trying to find his place in the world, well…I think it helped the both of you far more than you realize.” He reached out and took one of Zero’s hands in his bony one, tears shining in his eyes. “It made me immeasurably happy to see you become X’s friend, and it makes me even happier to know you’ve not only become his friend, but someone he could love, and someone who could in turn love him. I doubt I have much time left on this Earth, but I’m glad I was able to live long enough to see you and X come to terms with your feelings.”

Slowly, Zero placed his other hand on top of Dr. Cain’s. The old man’s hand felt so fragile, yet so warm. It was still strange to Zero, seeing humans grow, age, and change so quickly. As gently as he could, he closed his hand around Dr. Cain’s and squeezed it lightly. “Thank you. For introducing me to X, and for helping us so much over the years. I don’t know about history, or the world, but you’ve definitely left a mark on us. Especially X.”

Dr. Cain gave him a watery chuckle. “I’m happy to hear that. You know, I may not have created X, but I've always seen him as a son. It might embarrass him to hear me say that though, especially since that boy's technically older than I am!” He laughed again, a lone tear sliding down his cheek.

“I think he'd be flattered,” Zero said earnestly, because it was the truth. “You should tell him sometime.”

“Perhaps I shall.” Dr. Cain smiled fondly at Zero and patted his hand, dabbing his damp eyes with the corner of the sheet.

There was a sudden knock at the door. “Everything going alright in there?” The nurse poked her head in. “Excuse the interruption. I’ve brought you your soup, Dr. Cain. There’s also another visitor here, if you’ve got the energy for one more.”

“Oh?” Dr. Cain looked to the door in surprise. “And who might that be?”

An all-too familiar Reploid, one with bright green eyes and ocean blue armor, walked into the room. “Hello, Dr. Cain!” X said cheerfully. “My meeting today got canceled, so I thought I’d stop by and—” he saw Zero seated next to the bed and stopped short. “Zero?”

Zero froze. His mind went into a blind panic, the way it always did when he was in some sort of peril that his combat protocols couldn’t resolve (he subconsciously felt them return to stand-by mode after confirming there wasn’t anything to fight). Even with the knowledge that he could—and did—love X back, Zero still wasn’t sure what he wanted to do with that information yet. He hadn’t expected to run into X here, and he had no prepared excuse for his presence there.

Clearly reading the room, the nurse said, “I’ll…go heat up your soup, Doctor.” Excusing herself, she wisely made a quick exit, closing the door behind her.

“How good to see you, X!” Dr. Cain said casually, as though he and Zero hadn’t just had a momentous heart-to-heart conversation. “Come and sit down. I’m afraid I don’t have any more open chairs, but you can sit on the edge of my bed just fine.”

X obeyed, easily navigating around the stacks of textbooks and potted plants in the room and sat at the foot of Dr. Cain’s bed, still giving Zero a curious look. As he opened his mouth, undoubtedly to ask Zero what he was doing here, Dr. Cain cut in.

“I was feeling a little lonesome today, so I asked Zero if he would stop by, since it’s been a while since I last saw him. He kindly accepted my request, and we’ve been having a lovely chat.” He smiled innocently at X.

Zero kept his expression neutral, something he was thankfully very good at.

“That’s…nice.” X looked justifiably baffled, glancing between the two of them. “I’m sorry I didn’t have a chance to stop by sooner.”

Dr. Cain waved away X’s apology with his free hand. “Don’t worry about it, I know how busy you are with the Hunters. If anything, I should apologize to Zero for talking his ear—er, communicator off. He’s practically qualified to give lectures on archaeology now; I was able to relive my years as a professor thanks to him.”

“It was no trouble,” Zero said mechanically, making a mental note that age had by no means diminished Dr. Cain’s cunning.

X raised an eyebrow at Zero. He raised one back, and X snorted, turning back to Dr. Cain. “Well, I suppose I came just in time to rescue him, if that’s the case.”

“That you did! You should get out while you still can, Zero.” Dr. Cain laughed, slyly winking at Zero, who took the hint.

“Thank you, Doctor. I enjoyed our talk; I’ll try to visit again sometime.”

“You’re always welcome here, my boy.” Dr. Cain gripped his hand briefly before letting go, and Zero was surprised by his strength.

He stood up, and X did as well. “Let me walk you to the door. I’ll be right back, Dr. Cain.”

“Take your time!” Dr. Cain called after them, happily returning to his mug of tea.

They exited the room and walked down the hall together. Zero could hear the nurse humming in the other room as she microwaved Dr. Cain’s soup.

“Thank you for coming to visit him, Zero. Though I admit, I was surprised to see you here,” X laughed a little. “But I guess it has been a while since he last saw you. Still, you usually spend your free-time in the training room.”

“Yeah, well…” Zero rubbed the back of his neck. “This was more important.”

They stopped in front of the open door. X put a hand on his hip and gave Zero a wry smile. “You? Prioritizing something over training? Maybe I should have the Lifesavers take a look at you; that sounds too out of character.” He gently nudged Zero in the side with his elbow. “Teasing aside, I wanted to check and make sure everything’s ok.” X rested a hand on his arm. “You _are_ ok, aren’t you?”

X’s eyebrows furrowed together slightly in his characteristic _‘I’m worried about you, but I want to respect your privacy’_ expression that Zero knew well. He let out a small breath of laughter and placed one hand on X’s shoulder reassuringly. “Don’t worry, X. I’m ok.” He thought about it. “…More ok than I’ve been in a long time, actually.”

X was a little perplexed by his answer, but he didn’t push. “Alright, if you’re sure. You still up for sparring tomorrow morning?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

X grinned. “I’ll see you back at the base, then.”

Zero nodded, patting X’s shoulder before turning to leave.

He was about halfway down the garden path when a sudden thought occurred to him. Zero spun on his heel and walked back to X, who was still standing in the doorway, startled by Zero’s abrupt 180.

“Zero? What’s wro—”

“Can I give you a hug?”

A pink flush immediately blossomed over X’s cheeks. “What?”

“Can I give you a hug?” Zero repeated.

“No I understood what you were asking, I was just surprised that—yes, Zero, of course you can hug me,” X mumbled, embarrassed. He spread his arms wide.

Zero stepped forward to embrace X, hugging him around his shoulders firmly as X wrapped his arms around Zero’s waist. It was almost funny how perfectly X fit against him. He was aware that if he ever voiced that thought however, X would say it was just a roundabout way to call him short. Zero knew he was a little inexperienced and awkward at giving hugs, but he hoped that this was good enough to get his point across. “Thank you, X.”

He frowned up at Zero, confused. “For what?”

“For caring about me.”

X stared at him. Then slowly, he leaned his forehead against Zero’s chest. “You don’t need to thank me for something like that,” he murmured quietly.

Zero rested his cheek against X’s helmet, holding him close. “I wanted to thank you anyways.”

The arms around his waist tightened briefly. After a moment, X said, “…I’m still going to knock you on your butt again when we spar tomorrow.”

“You’re welcome to try,” Zero pulled back a little so he could see X properly. “But don’t think that’ll work on me twice.”

He felt X weave his fingers through his hair. “I guess I’ll just have to find an excuse to spar with you more often so I can practice different moves, then.”

Zero smiled. “I always welcome the chance to spend more time with you.”

X returned his smile, dazzlingly. Zero felt that same sense of contentment swell in his chest, and there was that feeling again, the sensation of wanting to stay in the moment.

Reluctantly, he let X go. “Tell Dr. Cain I’m sorry for keeping you so long. And tell him thanks again…for everything.”

“I’ll be sure to do that.”

As Zero turned to leave, X caught his hand. He looked back over his shoulder at X, surprised.

“You know, Zero,” X said, his voice and smile both full of warmth. “You don’t need to do these kinds of things to thank me, or to show me that you care.” He raised his arm, offering one half of their friendly gesture. “I’ve always known how you felt.”

Zero's eyes went wide for a moment. Then, he laughed, shaking his head. _Of course X knew_. He grinned and bumped his forearm against X’s. “Me too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This is officially the longest fanfic I've ever written (so far)! The song that inspired this fic was Of Monsters and Men’s **["Love Love Love"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beiPP_MGz6I)**. That song is the reason I was inspired to write this first fic, which in turn made me write all the other ones that preface it, so if anything’s to thank (or blame) for getting the ball rolling, it’s this.
> 
>  **["Love Like You"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoBGAzY0JGQ)** is another good song for this fic, and it was also the working title, but eventually I begrudgingly changed it to “A Matter of Love” to fit the naming theme of some of my previous fics. (While I’m making recommendations, here’s **[a short list](http://shikai-the-storyteller.tumblr.com/post/158370652213/may-i-ask-what-songs-you-have-on-your-zerox)** of songs I associate with these two, with some commentary. It's my unofficial playlist for them).
> 
> I realize my note at the beginning of the fic makes it sound as though this is the last story I’m ever going to write. It’s definitely not, don’t worry! I’ve still got tons of ideas I want to share. My estimates for when the next fanfic will be finished are always off, so I won't make one this time! The next fic will get done when it gets done.


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